dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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