Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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