her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
only if we run a train.
done.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
