he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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