Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
