Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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