I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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