im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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