when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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