what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
