We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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