nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
