My room smells like vodka and shame
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
