You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
