ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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