somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
