Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
