i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
