Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
