You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize