??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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