Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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