Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
