She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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