The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
