Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
wow bdsm is so cute
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
