there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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