I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
