What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
