he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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