your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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