White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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