3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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