she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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