Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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