Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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