why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
