so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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