i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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