He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
