Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
