I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
