You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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