Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
