dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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