I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
