found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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