Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
