so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
