Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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