I think scott just propositioned me for sex
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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