so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
