This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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