Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
