i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
